Don't give up on me - Mill Valley 2000

Daddy, here we are again

I'm down on my knees

Beggin' for your forgiveness

Are you as tired of this

as I am?

All I can do is pray.

Daddy, please don't give up on me

Please don't give up on me

Daddy, please don't give up on me

Please don't give up on me

How many times 

am I gonna do this?

I should've learned

a long time ago

We've been here

before!

I am clay

in the potter's hands

constantly being shaped

and molded into

the master's design

But He repeatedly

has to start over

because I fall &

fold my form over

so that I'm back 

to being a sinful lump.

Control - Oregon 2000

You're in control I see the evidence all around You're in control You're power stretches high & low You're in control Your love circles me all around You're in control So help me let go

Your Sovereignty - Oregon 2000

Lord, nothing happens Out of Your control Even Satan has to ask For Your permission So remind me daily Of this fact That even when my faith Truly lacks Your will always Wins out Even in this world Of chaos People may not Follow Your lead But You make good out of bad No one is ever in need Help me to Praise You Even when things Seem lost I need to remember Your sovereignty Stretches all the way To the cross!

Faith - Oregon 2000

Here we are again At this moment of faith I trusted You before I learned of Your grace Lord my flesh is strong And wants its way But I need to follow You I'll start with today You know the future You have a will My job is to follow it To be silent and still So here I am I've come to pray Show me Your heart Tell me what You say I'm Yours, Your name I'll try to glorify So I'll take this chance And on You rely So take my hand And in yours keep 'Till one day in heaven Face to face we'll meet I'll sing of Your glories Here in this place And I'll continue singing When we meet face to face Lord my life Is in Your hands Take me now I'm Yours to command

This Shell - Oregon 2000

Is this lust or is it envy? How I long to look like that again? How do I become satisfied with what I have been given? Do I try to refine it or do I let Him? And even if I get this body to physical perfection, will I be satisfied or will I still want what I cannot have? Is this just a chance to learn about desires instead of learning to refine oneself? Do I want to fall in love with this body or do I want to fall in love with myself? That is the true question! This body is temporary even if I beat it & drive it to look the way I want to, it still won't matter, I still won't be happy. Maybe I should just learn to not care-not hate-not like just not care one way or the other! Trust God to provide someone who loves me no matter what condition this shell is in! What about a healthy temple? What about giving yourself the things you love? I don't want to deny myself I just want to control myself! Why do I torture myself? Put myself through this circle of temporary pleasure and guilt! This is the same problem, not 3 separate ones: food-sex-desires! How long will I do this to myself? I long to be free from this bondage of sin! But am I really only doing this to myself? When I am weak, He is strong. Why can't I feel His strength surging through me in these moments? Is it my lack of faith?

Martyr - Oregon 2000

Would I die for You? You died for me! Isn't that what love is all about, being willing to die for them? We can die at any moment, but how does one get prepared? And especially ready for the dying for your faith! Lord, I love You more than life itself. Therefore, I will be obedient even unto death Just as You were for me. Refine my heart and soul So that I am ready at any moment for you or death to come! My life is nothing! Your glory is everything! Surround me with Your peace, So that I can die to myself daily And be a martyr!

If You Come Tomorrow - Oregon 2000

Lord, what happens if you come tomorrow? Will my life be in vain? Have I succeeded in what You wanted me to do? Can I say, "It is finished" when I look back on this shamble of a life? Lord, I know that I could die any moment, but would You say "Well done, good & faithful servant!"? Would I think about what I missed? Would I regret all the things I've done? In Your presence nothing else matters How do I live each day like a dead man? Not caring about what happens to me or planning ahead for the future Is life all in vain? What do I do now? Wait? With no hope for the future? Am I not allowed to dream anymore? Help?!"

Not My Will, But Yours Be Done - Oregon 2000

Lord, I've tried to plow my way through life I set a goal & strived with all that I am to reach it But now I know it was all in strife You know the path, you know the will What I thought was right, was me instead Why didn't I just calm down and be still You blessed me greatly even on my own path I received many awards, ribbons & grades I tried really hard to take credit for that But it was all you, all the time You showing your grace and mercy Giving me what I don't deserve How could I have been so blind? Lord, now my eyes are open I can really see I want to walk down your straight & narrow path I think I know the way now, but I'm afraid it's still me I don't want to screw this up, by implanting my desires in Your will I want to follow You alone down Your path, And not continue mine, that leads straight to hell Lord, erase my memory, my strength my will to do it alone, Fill me with Your heart, Your love, Your desires Make me into a Jesus Clone! * Inspired by Mark 14:36*